Cool Moms Care

Walking A Thin Line

July 6, 2009 · Leave a Comment

No worries.

No worries.

By the time this article is published, my daughter will be on a beach vacation with her biological father. She’s going away for a total of 12 days, and I find the prospect a paradox of sorts- exciting and terrifying, filled with anticipation of new memories and at once plagued by my daughter and I missing one another and looking forward to being together again.

I am excited for her to have a vacation in a new place spending time with people she doesn’t get to see often. In the same way, she’s looking forward to making sandcastles, playing in the ocean, and going out to dinner. She’ll perhaps even be able to do some other new activities- putt-putt, anyone? There’s something soothing and energizing about the beach, and some of my favorite memories from childhood are those seaside times.

At the same moment, however, I am utterly terrified, and she’s showing some hints of nervousness, too. ‘What ifs’ are exploding in my head like popcorn in a microwavable bag, and I know that until she comes home safely I’m going to be a bundle of nerves. I’ve found myself hugging and snuggling and kissing her so much in the past few days that she’s beginning to say, “Mom, enough!”

As parents we’re natural worriers, but we have strong desires to balance that cautiousness with a dedication to expose our children to all the world has to offer. That balance, at times, seems to be such a fine line that it is nearly impossible to achieve. Maybe the most fun and challenging part of being a parent is trying to walk that thin line. We tell them to spread their wings one minute and long for them to sit in our laps the next.

I’m reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and Chan makes the argument that it is simply arrogant to worry. He writes that worrying is an activity reserved for those of us who think our own lives so important and our own selves so mighty that we doubt the one who made us. For Christians, it’s as if we sometimes assume that we have accomplished all we have without the help of a mighty Creator, which we know at root is absurd. I was so struck by this (convicted, if you will) that I’m trying to train myself to think about this situation differently.

For the duration of my daughter’s trip, I’ve decided that every time I worry I’m going to remember that something greater is in control, and I challenge you to do the same. Each time you worry about your kids- whether it’s in the nursery or the swimming pool, resolve to do your best as a parent and then let it go. Make an earnest effort to fill your mind and heart with something other then worry, like an optimistic anticipation of the future.

And then ask me how I did next Monday.

- Mary Cady Bolin

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Attitude of Gratitude · Family

Have a Safe 4th of July

July 3, 2009 · Leave a Comment

2639904932_44226fc987_mThe Fourth of July weekend is upon us. Maybe you will be taking the family to see the fireworks display in your community, or maybe you will be enjoying a backyard barbeque with family and friends. Whatever your plans for this holiday weekend, make sure you play it safe.

On a similar note, this week is Eye Safety Awareness Week. Take the time to learn more about how to prevent eye injuries and what to do if your child does suffer an eye injury.

- Malinda Moseley

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Education · Family · Health & Wellness · Healthcare & Medical Issues · Holiday · Safety

Introduction to the Arts

July 2, 2009 · Leave a Comment

It’s not to early to introduce the arts to your kids.

It’s not to early to introduce the arts to your kids.

One of the best ways to nurture a love of art, theater or music in your children is to expose them to these things at a young age. We’ve got some terrific local resources that will enable you to do that—and at a reasonable price.

The Nashville Children’s Theatre provides a wonderful window into the arts for our children.
The NCT just announced its 2009-2010 schedule, and there are some terrific shows on the list. You can purchase a family subscription if you plan to see many shows, or you can buy individual tickets. I know I’m definitely planning on taking my three-year-old son, William to see “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” because he adores the book so much. And maybe I’ll borrow someone else’s older child to go see “The Diary of Anne Frank.”

THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER
September 22 – October 11, 2009
Based on the novel by Mark Twain
Conceived and written by Ken Ludwig, Music and Lyrics by Don Schlitz
Ages 7 and up

ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY
October 27, 2009 – January 3, 2010
Book and Lyrics by Judith Viorst. Music by Shelly Markham
All ages

THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK
January 19 – February 7, 2010
By Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett
Ages 9 and up

MISS NELSON IS MISSING!
February 23 – March 28, 2010
Adapted from the book by Harry Allard and James Marshall
Book, Music & Lyrics by Joan Cushing
All ages

CHARLOTE’S WEB
April 13 – May 16, 2010
Adapted by Joseph Robinette. Based on the book by E.B. White
All ages

For more information, visit http://www.nashvillechildrenstheatre.org.

Another great local theater resource for the whole family is the Old World Theatre Company. The troupe offers several shows each year at the Belcourt Theatre, and I can say from seeing two shows (“Jack and the Beanstalk” and “The Wizard of Oz”) with my son this past spring that the shows are lots of fun and very family-friendly. No one minds if your child shouts in excitement when a particular character appears on stage, and the actors usually line up in the lobby after the show to shake hands and pose for pictures.

The company’s next all-ages show is “The Magic Kettle.” It runs July 25 at 10 a.m., Aug. 1 at 10 a.m. and Aug. 8 at 10 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. Tickets are $6. For more information about the company or its programs, visit http://oldeworldetheatre.com. Purchase tickest at www.belcourt.org.

- Jennifer Larson

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Activities · Development · Education · Family

Cool Marines Care

July 1, 2009 · Leave a Comment

20090623_casa_v_nash_redblue_rgb jpg_Semper Fi: Marine Don Barker is Always Faithful to the Kids He Serves

She is a tiny, fragile one-year-old who was born with two life-threatening strikes against her: the first was a devastating birth defect; the second, an unsafe home from which she was removed as an infant. Without an organ transplant she will likely die before her second birthday. But before her name can be placed on the organ transplant waiting list, a court must decide whether to return her to her parents or free her for adoption.

Her life is full of concerned adults–foster parents who want to adopt her, biological parents who are working to get her back, social workers, medical teams, lawyers, a judge. But only one person in this crowd is appointed by the court look out for the best interest of the child and speak for her alone: Don Barker, her CASA volunteer.

If anyone is prepared to shoulder this heavy responsibility it is Barker, 64, an American Legion member who served his country as a Marine and his community as sheriff’s deputy. Volunteering for Nashville’s CASA, Inc., in his retirement, he says, is just another chapter in his life of service.

The Marine Corps, says Barker, “taught me to be prepared and to arrive on time.” That lesson formed the cornerstone of his successful career and it is crucial to his success as a CASA volunteer. “I arrive prepared for the mission, which means I do as much homework as I can before every meeting,” he says. “I don’t want to be surprised.”

After a career in law enforcement, Barker is not shy about telling a judge what he thinks or pushing hard for a speedy resolution. Courts are reluctant to sever parental rights–and most of the time that’s prudent, says Barker. But in this case, the stakes are too high. “I know the parents and I know they’re trying,” he says. “But we don’t have time to let them work through a program to regain custody if we’re going to have a chance to save this child’s life.”

Jane Andrews, Executive Director of CASA, Inc., says if she could build a mold for an ideal CASA volunteer she would start with Don Barker. “Don represents the perfect match between the desire to make a difference and the skills needed to do so,” she says.

Four years ago, Barker’s first case brought him into the lives of two brothers who were removed from their home because of educational neglect. He was immensely proud to see the older brother flourish in school and become a National Merit scholarship semifinalist before he aged out of the foster care system. The younger brother will age out in July, and Barker is still on the case. At a recent family team meeting, the youth said he’d been thinking about Barker just the day before. “Why didn’t you give me a call?” asked Barker. “Because I knew I’d see you today,” the boy replied. “You’re always here.”

“They know I’ll always be there when they need me–I get a handshake and a hug–and that’s what keeps me going,” says Barker. And until she is squared away, he will always be there for the medically fragile child whose life now hangs in the balance.

If you’d like to volunteer at a CASA near you, visit their Web site.

- Rachel Hart

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Politics & Justice · Volunteer

Stick to the List

June 30, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Avoid stocking your pantry with things that will just expire and have to be thrown out.

Avoid stocking your pantry with things that will just expire and have to be thrown out.

Do you ever find yourself in the grocery store or the drugstore with a cart full of stuff that you never intended to buy? I know I’ve done it. I walk by an aisle and turn down by impulse and before you know it, I’ve got a basketful of things that I didn’t even know I needed.

So I’m trying to be better about making out a shopping list before venturing through the sliding glass doors. We’re all trying to save money these days, and sticking to a list can help us achieve that goal. It can also help you avoid buying things that you don’t need in the first place–and might go to waste. Does that mean that you have to feel guilty for occasionally giving into impulse and picking up a half-gallon of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream? Of course not. But it might help you avoid stocking your pantry with things that will just expire and have to be thrown out.

- Jennifer Larson

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Activities · Conservation & the Environment · Family · Food & Beverage

Gotta Get It Done

June 29, 2009 · Leave a Comment

What do you do when you’ve got to get things done and simply have to have the little ones in tow?

What do you do when you’ve got to get things done and simply have to have the little ones in tow?

I caved.

CLUNKclunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK went our race car shopping cart through Kroger yesterday. It wasn’t worth picking a fight with my daughter about letting her ride in the race car cart while I dragged her into Kroger to get strawberries. I felt bad enough about making her grocery shop with me on a sunny day when she could have been playing outside.

Been there? What do you do when you’ve got to get things done and simply have to have the little ones in tow? We’ve got to get things done, right?

I wonder, when was it that we allowed ourselves to start feeling guilty for running errands with our kids? Where did we get the idea that every second of our child’s day had to be a learning experience, quality time, or some type of scheduled, planned, stamped and approved enrichment activity? (Come to think of it, what makes a learning experience just that?) And when did a simple trip to the bank start being incomplete without a lollipop?

Nevermind how this all came about, we as parents are playing the game now, like it or not. And my daughter is having a blast in the race car while the shopping gets done.

- Mary Cady Bolin

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Activities · Family

Pedal Power

June 26, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Ride a bike to get where you're headed.

Ride a bike to get where you're headed.

Did you know that 190 years ago today, the first bicycle was patented? In honor of that milestone, dust off that two-wheeled transportation machine in the garage and go for a ride. Take the whole family out for a spin and pay a visit to the local farmers market or head off to a park nearby. The benefits for your family are plenty, so make sure to talk to the kids about exercise, preventing pollution, and proper bike safety. You’ll also find that this will provide for some very meaningful family time. Don those helmets and get to pedaling!

- Michelle Andrade

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Activities · Conservation & the Environment · Education · Family · Health & Wellness · Safety

Stop, Look and Listen

June 25, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Stop, look and listen.

Stop, look and listen.

My daughter has learned that before you cross a street or parking lot you need to “stop, look, and listen”. She is our family’s safety cop, always taking our hands and reminding us to stop, look both ways, and listen for approaching cars.

We have a newborn in the house now. And, it’s an adjustment for all of us. I find that there is so much going on, that it is hard to stay focused. The other day as I was washing dishes my daughter asked me a question. I was wrapped up in what I was doing and thinking about the laundry list of things that needed to be done. I clearly wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying. Understandably, she became frustrated with me. That is when I heard a voice in my head say “Stop, Look, and Listen”. I stopped washing the dishes, I turned and looked right into her eyes, and I listened to what she had to say. Satisfied with the answer I gave her, she went merrily on her way.

In all the daily demands and craziness of life, it is important to stop, look and listen to those around us.
Especially our children. Giving them our undivided attention helps them to know that their voices are important. Not to mention they learn by example the importance of listening.

- Malinda Moseley

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Family · self-esteem

Lullabies Make a Difference

June 24, 2009 · Leave a Comment

20090622_Lofbomm Asian Square_Adam and Jessica Lofbomm are Americans that have lived in Seoul for the past three years. They love travel, good music, nightlife and kids. They sought to integrate their diverse interests and global lifestyle with the music they loved. At the same time, they saw so many of their hipster friends reaching 30 and starting families, so this husband and wife duo decided to create something that would bring all of these pieces together. The result is “Laughing Tree Lullabies, Vol. 1“.

Nancy Kim, founder of the nonprofit humanitarian organization, Educate a Child described the album as “mellow lullabies with an adult’s musical sensibilities.”

Laughing Tree’s labor of love is at the same time enlightening and lulling for babies, while nostalgic and captivating for adults. It is a collection of songs from around the world, intended to lay down quality music for the adult listener, while fostering in young children an ease with different languages and musical styles.

The diversity of the music can be understood when reading the list of instruments used to record “Laughing Tree Lullabies, Vol. 1″: layers and layers of vocals, acoustic and slide guitar, piano, chimes, ukulele, accordion, kazoo, tea kettle, spoons, claps and African drum. Paired with the changing flow of the field recordings underneath, each song is a unique experience, yet the pieces make up a cohesive album that is best experienced from start to finish.

Partnership with Sweet Sleep

Laughing Tree is donating 10% of all profits from the “Laughing Tree Lullabies” series to support the work of Sweet Sleep, an organization that provides beds for some of the world’s poorest children.

According to the Sweet Sleep website, there are more than 210 million orphans worldwide, and each day, 5,760 more children become orphans.

Orphaned and abandoned children in Third World countries suffer from lack of sufficient or healthy places to sleep. These children often sleep on old, broken and soiled beds or have no beds at all– forcing them to sleep on paper-thin mats or cold, hard floors, making them susceptible to insects and disease. Sweet Sleep provides these children a solid new bed frame with a thick foam mattress, vinyl
mattress and pillow covers, a fluffy new pillow, comfy new sheets, a cozy new comforter and a mosquito net when needed.

Since 2005, Adam and Jessica have sponsored Felicia Stavila, a 12-year-old girl at an orphanage in Falesti, Moldova through Sweet Sleep. They are glad to be able to support the ongoing good work of Sweet Sleep by giving back with Laughing Tree Lullabies. Since June 4, for the remainder of 2009, Laughing Tree is touring Europe to promote their lullabies project, collect songs for “Laughing Tree Lullabies, Vol. 2″, and raise awareness and funds for Sweet Sleep.

They will end up in Moldova to hand-deliver support for the orphanage there and meet Felicia in person for the first time.

“Laughing Tree Lullabies, Vol. 1″ is available through LaughingTree.org where you can find links to buy digital downloads or CDs to be shipped anywhere in the world. And, for the latest news and updates, follow the Lofbomms on Twitter.

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Development · Diversity · Education · Family · Poverty

Father Figure

June 22, 2009 · Leave a Comment

3033122362_4b1a2964bf_mI am sitting at the breakfast bar in my kitchen, writing on my laptop and looking out into the backyard. We live in one of those delightful old neighborhoods where the houses are so close together that, for yards, we say we have a ‘front postage stamp’ and a ‘back postage stamp.’

There’s a tall old tree in the back left-hand corner of the lot which I honestly didn’t know was even a tree until about a week ago. Strong vines and thick foliage had so smothered the trunk that I assumed it was a lost cause to even bother getting into that section of the yard.

That is until last week when my husband of three weeks announced he was going build a treehouse for my 4 year-old daughter in the neglected section of the backyard, using the forgotten old tree as a solid base.

From where I sit right now, I can see my husband, lean and strong, tearing down the massive vines from the tree and clearing the space around the trunk for construction. Most of the overgrowth has been here much longer than he has owned the house, and the labor is difficult at best. This forgotten back section of the yard has become a breeding ground for mosquitoes and the inattention to the area makes it a maze of complicated vines to crawl through. His excitement about this project for Caroline, though, has overshadowed the hard work it’s taking to begin construction, and he’s been out there clearing and measuring every night for a week.

And this is where I am thankful that my daughter has a man in her life who wants to build her a treehouse no matter the obstacles. He is, very literally, taking something ugly and overgrown that many people would just leave alone and working to make it a playground for her, all because he knows it will make her happy. What a gift.

Single moms know the frustration of parenting solo better than anyone around, and what makes parenting alone much more difficult than anything else is the pain and guilt you feel as you long for a father for your kids. To make matters worse, society reminds these women often that girls without fathers are more likely to do drugs, face unplanned pregnancies, and marry for all the wrong reasons. Likewise, statistics show that boys without fathers are less likely to be well educated and more likely to commit crimes.

Fortunately, fathers don’t exist only in biological forms or as step-fathers. Fathers can be baseball coaches, youth pastors, and teachers. Fathers can be brothers, as was the case for me, uncles, grandfathers, and cousins.

As I write I am thinking of my daughter asleep upstairs, knowing what “B” is building for her in the backyard. She’s too young to see the treehouse as anything more than just what it is- a treehouse with the potential for a million memories and climbing galore- but I’m not.

When I look out my window I see a man who’s worked all day and comes home to work some more, all because he loves her.
I see him batting at bugs and ripping up vines to make her a place to run and play and have sleepouts under the stars. I see a man I prayed would come into our lives, and I see a man who is a father. Fortunately for me, he’s also my best friend.

This is when Brian looks up, sees me though the window, and smiles. Happy Father’s Day.

- Mary Cady Bolin

→ Leave a CommentCategories: Attitude of Gratitude · Family