Cool Moms Care

How to raise a strong, confident and happy child?

My son’s preschool teacher recently mentioned to me that she heard several mothers talking about how fat they were, how they were going to have to lose weight if they were going to fit into a bathing suit this year, etc. etc. And she said she wanted to put her hands over the children’s ears so they wouldn’t hear the mothers talking like that. Three-year-olds don’t worry about being fat, but they might start if they hear their primary role models doing it.

It made me stop and think. I decided that I was going to make a conscious effort not to belittle my appearance in front of my child or any of his friends. It’s not that I think I always look great; far from it. I’m all too aware of those extra five or ten pounds. I have plenty of bad hair days. But I don’t want to send the wrong kind of message. I want to set a good example. I don’t want them to hear me agonizing over my appearance. I don’t want them to start worrying (this early) about their own appearance. I know that it won’t prevent my son or his buddies from eventually worrying about being too short or too tall or too fat or too thin. But at least I don’t have to exacerbate the problem myself.

So the next time you start to moan about the way your thighs look in a bathing suit, stop and think. Do you want your daughter to hear you talking like that? Do you want her to start worrying about her own thighs because her beloved mommy is doing it? Do you want your son to worry that maybe there’s something wrong with the way he looks, too? Resist the urge to say it in front of your child. They’re listening to what we have to say. - Jennifer Larson