Rounding out the Year

Round out the Year and check in on what we have been doing!

As we Round out the Year, let's look at some of the amazing things that have happened for us this year.

1. The Book
New Day Revolution: How to Change the World in 24 Hours Released
Clearly, the word 'revolution' is a marketable one. Certain products promise to revolutionize the way we experience music, buy groceries or go for a jog. And while revolution may not be some panacea of a word that can be slapped on everything, it does have a certain connotation that things will be different. When a revolution happens, things change. When a revolution happens, it's a chance for a fresh start. When a revolution happens, it's a new day.

Will our book revolutionize your life? I don't know. It's not a magical book that you can put under your pillow and when you wake up tomorrow your skin will be clearer, your jeans will fit better and your relationships will be less complicated.

But in it, we dream of a new day. And in that new day, you'll be different, and we'll be different. We will all have made different choices about the way we shop, the way we eat, the way we spend our free time, and even the way we enjoy a trip to the coffee shop. And when enough of us resolve that what we need is a new day, we'll have a revolution.

New Day Revolution shows you how small changes in your daily routine can make a big difference. This year-end, let's look to take the mentality of small change. Next time you throw out the juice carton, take five seconds to compact it and save space in the landfill, or grab an extra box of crayons for your local school when you buy a box for your child.

For people who feel they have little time, this first book from the duo that launched CoolPeopleCare gives helpful hints, practical tips, and step by step instructions on how to make a big difference in the local community and the world at-large with whatever time you have.

2. The Team
We brought on Malinda Moseley (Calendar Manager, Office Manager) and Michelle Andrade (CoolMomsCare Co-Founder, Nonprofit Partner manager).

3. CoolMomsCare
As you probably know, CoolMomsCare is the first sister site of the ever-popular CoolPeopleCare. We are the online community for parents and their kids who want to make a difference, but you know that because you are already here!

You may have come to us by way of CoolPeopleCare or maybe a friend sent you to our site; maybe you just stumbled upon us or may have been searching for us and didn't know it. However you arrived we thank you for being with us. Thank you for a wonderful 2007! We look forward to an even bigger 2008!

Endangered Outreach

Speak up for those Endangered Species!

On December 28, 1973, the Endangered Species Act was passed in the United States. This act was brought forth to protect those animals that were at the most risk of extinction because of "the consequences of economic growth and development untempered by adequate concern and conservation."

President Nixon wrote when he signed this act: "Nothing is more priceless and more worthy of preservation than the rich array of animal life with which our country has been blessed."

In honor of this act, get involved in making your voice heard about animals that are endangered, still today.

Look for some endangered animals, have your kids pick their favorite one or find one that may be in your area and get them to help protect the endangered species and their habitat. Your kids can:

1. Draw, Draw, Draw
Draw a picture of the endangered animal and why they are endangered. Make a day out of going to your local library to find out more about the animal and the biggest threats to its survival. Send the picture, along with a short letter explaining why you drew it, to your Senator or Representative. Be sure and tell them how you feel about endangered species.

OR

2. Scribe
Have a discussion with your kids and ask them how they feel about endangered species. Really get to the heart of their feelings and encourage them (if they can write) to write their own letter to their U.S. Senators or Representative (these are the people in charge of the Endangered Species Act – U.S. law that protects endangered species). Emphasize how important it is to protect these species. In their letter, they may want to choose a species that is of interest to them and talk about some of the things they love about them. Teach your children that they have a voice and can use it!

Addresses:

To a Representative:
The Honorable (name)
U.S. House of Representatives
Washington, DC 20515

To a Senator:
The Honorable (name)
U.S. Senate
Washington, DC 20510

Your local library will know the name of your U.S. Senators or Representative if you are not sure or you can find most of that information online.

Made New Year's Resolutions a Committee Thing

Make resolutions as a family and there will always be someone there for support!

I've made my share of personal resolutions, and usually either forgotten or broken them quite quickly. I always start with the best of intentions, but soon get caught up in something more urgent or important.

But I wonder what would have happened, had I decided that we could have done New Year's Resolutions together as a family? Would the resolutions have more staying power and achieved more successful results?

I should have used the days before January 1 to call a family meeting. We could have discussed the previous year, and tossed out new ideas for change in the coming year. Ideas could have included new experiences to go through, pesky habits to overcome, new achievements to attempt, or old memories to revisit. Ideas from picking up dirty clothes to a family vacation could have been entertained. We could have chosen one or several as our resolutions for the upcoming year, as long as we all agreed on them.

Once our resolutions were chosen, we would have chosen action steps to accomplish our resolutions. We could have each recognized our part to further our goal, as well as the roles of each of our family members. We would recognize that it would be a family resolution, and we would all be in it together.

We would have created a way to display our resolution, and a way to mark our progress. We should have all contributed to the display, and continued to add to it throughout the year with obvious steps forward, as well as encouraging notes.

By the end of that New Year, we would have seen success in several ways. We would have worked together on a goal, each pulling our own weight, yet encouraging each other. We would have seen our family grow together as we worked on a joint project. We could have solved problems, experienced new adventures, recognized new strengths in each other, and gained new respect for each other.

We would have accomplished something together as a family that made our family stronger.

At the end of the year, we should have celebrated the resolutions we made, whether we accomplished all that we had planned or not. Because in the end, it wouldn't have been the resolution that needed celebrating, but our family. Our family, who together recognized a common goal we wanted to accomplish, who worked together to achieve it, and who grew closer together, no matter what the outcome. What resolution could be better than that?

About the Author:

Luanne Davidson is the proud mother of three adult children and wonders what might have been if she had done a thing or two differently. She writes her "Coulda, Woudla, Shoulda" column each Thursday.

Gratitude: Please Stop Whining

Think about being grateful rather than grumbling.

Whining has to be one of the all time most annoying behaviors of children AND adults. Yes, we do it too. We grumble and complain about work, traffic, gas prices, politics, crime and the list goes on and on. If we are intentional about being thankful, we could put an end to the whining. Counting our blessings isn't just a Thanksgiving or Christmas exercise; it's an everyday necessity.

Quick Tip:
Keep a list somewhere of what you are thankful for. Add to it each day this week. Here are a few ideas to get you started. I am thankful for soap, indoor plumbing, bubbles and blue jeans.

Definition:
Gratitude is being thankful for what you have and what others do for you or give to you

Read:
The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse
by Jan Brett

Talk:
What are you thankful for?
And why?

Act:
Draw a picture of why you are thankful to be you.

About the Author:

Tamara Batarseh, Executive Director of Love In A Big World (LBW), is a singer/songerwriter/performer with over fifteen years of performance experience. She is co-founder of LBW and has been the creator of the organization's programs and materials. Batarseh has recorded two albums, written LBW's character education curriculum, trained LBW's performers, and performed live for thousands of kids.

The Gift of Giving

What is the true meaning of this time of year for your family?

My 2-year-old daughter loves to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" no matter the time of year. She doesn't understand the whole story of how Charlie Brown struggles to make sense of the chaos and commercialism that has become the Christmas season. She just loves to watch Snoopy being silly. Christmas time is a fun time (for sure), however, it is quite easy to get caught up in the decorating, the eating, the overspending and, let's face it, the selfishness.

I sometimes feel like Charlie Brown standing on the stage yelling in frustration, "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?" But, here's the thing: I do know what it is all about but sometimes I just get too caught up in the noisy chaos of the season.

My hope is that one day my daughter will know what Christmas is all about. I hope that she will be willing to stand up for the true meaning of Christmas like Linus does when he answers Charlie Brown's question. When he stands on the stage and says, "Lights, please" it illustrates to me that only when I am willing to be quiet and shut out all other distractions can I focus on the truth of Christmas.

Christmas is not about getting things (think Lucy wanting real estate, Sally wanting "her fair share"). Christmas is about giving. It is about the ultimate gift of love given to every one of us. I want my daughter to know what it means to give and what a blessing it is not only to the receiver, but the giver as well.

How do I start teaching my 2-year-old how to give when she has a hard time even sharing with her friends?

I can start by being an example. For instance, every Christmas growing up my family had a tradition. After reading the Christmas story and seeing what Santa brought, we'd all pile in the car and make our way to the local fire station. We would deliver homemade cookies and treats to the firefighters who had to work on Christmas day. I cannot express their gratitude for such a simple gesture. They were so grateful to be remembered on Christmas day. It was our simple way of saying thank you for all they did for our community. I experienced such joy with that simple act of giving.

I've grown up and moved away, and I find that I miss that annual Christmas delivery. My parents still get up and go to their local fire station. The firefighters have come to anticipate my parents' visit. In today's world, the firefighters can no longer accept homemade goodies, but my mom still buys lots of treats for them. I asked my mom if she'd help me pass this tradition on to my daughter.

So, this Christmas morning will find my parents, my husband, my daughter and I making a trip to the local fire station with a basket of goodies. My hope is that my little girl will begin to experience what a gift it is to give.

Here are some other ideas for teaching kids about giving:

1. Charitable Giving
   Using these gift cards, kids can shop at the Markmakers store for goods & services in need around the world.
   

2. Bake cookies or pumpkin bread and hand-deliver them to your neighbors.
   Michelle writes, "I use this recipe and made a few substitutions for allergy reasons. I use organic pumpkin pie mix (because it has extra spice), Ener-G's Egg Replacer (I used the equivalent of 6 eggs according to their recommendations on the box), and Bob's Red Mill Gluten-Free All-Purpose flour. I baked it for an additional 10 minutes."
   

3. Send a card to a soldier serving overseas.
   Maybe it is an actual card through the Red Cross or an eCard through Xerox, let them know how to appreciate them.
   

4. Send a card to a child with a terminal illness.
   

Raising Caring Kids

What can we do to help raise more caring children?

What are priorities in your life? Think about it.

Are you finished?

Think some more!

Now, whatever those priorities are will transfer to our kids. Our kids mirror what we do and unfortunately, that can sometimes be some uncaring behaviors. The first time my little girl repeated the words "shut up" back to me, I was floored. Although I generally say it in a more astonished-style tone as in "get out" or "no way," I realized more and more how impressionable she really is.

In that same regard, she is in the car with me most of the time. When someone cuts me off in traffic and I get huffy and puffy, she sees that. Not to say she does not see me being positive, loving, gentle, and non-reactive, but it is clear that I want her to see more of the positive than the negative. For me, the best way to show my little on how to be caring is to be caring.

Sometimes being caring is getting on her level and asking her what she needs. Other times it is pouring daddy a cup of coffee when he is getting ready in the morning. Another time it may be letting someone in during a traffic jam. Then again, it may be taking her with me to make donations at our local charity.

Whatever the display, I have the opportunity each day to show her how to be caring and how to be a caring human being.

Kara writes this of how to be caring through Family Share Time:

Our friends and family are around us all year long, but it's at this time of year especially, that we take notice and count our blessings for them, as well as all of the other good things in our lives. However, it's also this time of year that's the perfect opportunity to help our children become kind, caring and compassionate towards others. The quality time spent working together as a family while helping others is an added bonus!

There are so many "community service" projects that are available to families at this time of year. Some of my favorites are visiting nursing homes or those that are homebound. They love to visit with people and see children.

If you're short on time and still want to do something, plan a craft afternoon with your children. Homemade ornaments, cards, sachets or any other "fancy" are always a nice touch added to meal trays. Areas that participate in the Meals on Wheels program are also usually very happy to include these items in their deliveries.

Some areas have the wonderful Ronald McDonald houses or hospital playrooms that are used by the patients as well as their families. These places are always grateful for donations of items (such as soaps toothpaste, batteries, videos, or art supplies) as well as time! Baking some cookies with your child to share with them is another fun-filled "service" and always appreciated by the families that are there. It also shows your kids that others don't always have all of the latest toys and gadgets. Some are just happy to get to go home and spend time with loved ones.

The list is endless! All it takes is a little imagination, the willingness to help others and some time to do something as a family! You'll find that by helping others, you gain something yourself: quality time with your children and the knowledge that you're helping your children to become helpful and compassionate young adults!

Last-Minute

This is the final weekend to prepare for Christmas. If you forgot something, try some of these ideas for last-minute gift ideas.

Although we all try to not wait until the last minute to get gifts, it is inevitable that we may forget someone. This weekend is the last weekend before Christmas. This weekend, have the kids make those last-minute gifts, and at most, all you may need is an already-anticipated trip to the grocery store. Let’s teach our kids the joy of giving by allowing them the opportunity to create gifts for others.

• Make and decorate a photo frame.
  Make a frame using construction paper, card stock, or pieces of wood. Decorate it with beads or stickers. Put a picture of them and the recipient in the frame.
  

• Paint pictures or designs onto a plain clay flower pot.
  Be creative with what you put inside. Maybe it is some fair-trade coffee, a T-shirt, or even an indoor plant.
  

• Take an old puzzle that has missing pieces and make jewelry.
  Tie yarn or ribbon around the pieces for an eclectic necklace. Paint puzzle pieces, glue them together when dry, and attach a jewelry pin to the back. Decorate it with beads. Puzzle jewelry is very unique.
  

• Gingerbread Votives
  Create a holiday decoration that will last for years to come from a holiday favorite, like gingerbread votives.
  

• Make stationery.
  Decorate several sheets of paper and envelopes to give as stationery. Use glue and glitter, crayons, markers or paint for borders. Or, use household tools and dip them into paint and make unique designs on the paper. Make sure the kids leave room to write something. (Tip: Use removable tape and place a smaller sheet of paper in the center of the larger page so that a clean-cut design will be along the edges.) On the back, put the child's name and year.
  

• Have your child write an essay describing why they love the recipient.
  Spice it up with a nice cover you let them decorate and make a little book bound with ribbon.
  

Believed in own Mom-hood

We are not alone as moms. There are so many who have gone before us and one of those mothers encourages us to remember to embrace our own mom-hood!

I really thought I was ready. I had read all the books and been to all the classes. I talked to experts and watched the videos. I believed I was ready - until they placed this squirming bundle of baby boy in my arms and told me we could take him home. From that moment on, I worried exactly what I would eventually do for them to come and take him back.

Looking back on 27 years, I should have believed more in my abilities as a mom. I could have trusted my internal mom instincts. I would have stopped believing that the baby books were the law, and that my baby was supposed to do everything the books said. I would have stopped spending so much time looking at the "ideal baby" manual and more time looking at my own ideal baby. He was happy, healthy, and perfect.

For instance, the books and the pediatrician said babies should be on a 3-hour schedule. Technically mine was: he nursed on one side for an hour, then the other side for an hour, then slept for an hour, then started over. I don't think that was the schedule they meant, but I was too embarrassed to tell the truth. I should have stood up for myself. My baby was obviously thriving because he was consistently over the top on the growth charts.

I could have developed a wider network of new moms. I had a small group of friends with children the same ages, but we were all insecure about our abilities. We all wanted to do the "right" thing. We could have shared our own stories more and encouraged each other by affirming that what we were doing were the right things for our babies.

We didn't have the internet back in the old days. Today I would find a cyberspace network of moms, to hear from moms all over the world. I would have been encouraged to hear that there was another mom on my "three-hour" schedule. In turn I could encourage a fellow mom who was also on her 27th brand of pacifier, still with no acceptance of the new, or any pacifier, by her infant.

I should have known that all new moms are scared and in awe of this thing called motherhood. I should have realized that moms come equipped with the one thing our child needs most: our all-encompassing love. It is this love that insures we will do anything and everything for our baby to insure that he or she is protected, and nurtured, and loved, and it is what makes us the perfect moms for our babies.

About the Author:

Luanne Davidson is the proud mother of three adult children and wonders what might have been if she had done a thing or two differently. She writes her "Coulda, Woudla, Shoulda" column each Thursday.

This New Year

We feature Tamara with Love in a Big World each week and often in other places in CoolMomCare. Her experience is invaluable and her words are powerful. Today's All in a Day is for your kids, so read it to them or just with them (if they are at reading age) and use this to create dialog. What kind of year-end will your kids have?

In just a few weeks you'll be reminiscing with the "Best of 2007" shows and watching the ball drop at Time Square. It's another New Year's Eve. This is when we hear a lot of talk about New Year's Resolutions. "I’m going to stop eating fast food!" says Uncle Harold. "I’m going to lose fifty pounds," says Grandma Hogan. These resolutions for improving physical health are important. But what about making some resolutions to benefit your emotional health – how you feel on the inside?

Are you stressed? Angry? Worried? Fearful? You know, your relationships with parents, brothers and sisters, friends, teachers and classmates impact your emotional health. Maybe you're at odds with your mom because she won't let you stay up as late as you want on Friday night. Perhaps, you just heard the rumor about you that's been spread all over school. Or maybe you're mad at yourself for losing your temper with your best friend. What you need is a new start. Forgiveness is putting another's wrongs behind and letting go of anger because of a wrong.

Here's something that has helped me.

From time to time, I write a list of all the people that I'm angry with (every person with whom I can tell things are just not right). It may have been a strange look or a cutting remark that clued me in to the problem between us and usually I'm at the top. Then I read over the list. I breathe deeply (because I can feel the anger rising inside me) and I choose to forgive. The person who has wronged me may never have even said "I'm sorry." I choose to put the wrong behind, to let the anger go. Then I rip up the paper and throw it away.

This might sound simple or maybe even cheesy, but, I tell you, working through this process helps me get a fresh start. And that's what we all need for a Happy New Year!

About the Author:

Tamara Batarseh, Executive Director of Love In A Big World (LBW), is a singer/songerwriter/performer with over fifteen years of performance experience. She is co-founder of LBW and has been the creator of the organization’s programs and materials. Batarseh has recorded two albums, written LBW’s character education curriculum, trained LBW’s performers, and performed live for thousands of kids.

Babies, Bundles and BabyLegs - OH MY

Ways to buy, to save and other practical tips for dressing in this cold weather.

It is winter in the South which means that short sleeves can be worn in mid-afternoon, but worn nonetheless. I love the fact that we live in a state where we get a "sampler portion" of each season. We get the fun of experiencing each season, yet it's not very often we find extreme weather. Instead, it's the subtle sensations of the breeze getting cooler, the trees changing color, the summer storms and mad shopping rush as we prepare for fall, festivities and holidays.

I love this time of year. My 7-month-old daughter is getting her first chance to see a true change in season. We went from onesies and nakedness to being bundled in layers and layers of clothes.

In a world of excess, there are definitely tons of precious outfits for babies and it can be tempting to buy all of them! But what I've found is that as many stores that there are showing the cutest baby styles, there are just as many (if not more) consignment stores and parents desperate to get rid of all their stuff! Just between my two closest friends I have enough of a wardrobe to clothe my child for her first two years. If I don't have something in the right season, the baby consignment store down the road has tons of outfits for under $10.

We had to go to a wedding and I got this beautiful red taffeta dress, complete with a little velvet mini-jacket for a whopping $6. So not only do I have an inexpensive way to dress my child with others' hand-me-downs, but I also have an easy way to account for all the growth changes in these first years. I have had outfits that my daughter never wore because she outgrew them before I had a chance to put them on her! It is a great way to recycle and help each other out: outgrown toys, clothes, books and shoes can be a brand new item to another child.

Some Mom Recommendations of Where to Buy to Save:

• eBay We all know eBay is a great resource for getting baby items.

• Craigslist
  I like this because it's all local, and you can find all kinds of items in it (I'm picking up and exer-saucer for $15 in a few minutes, actually!) You can negotiate a price and trade items as well.
  

• Kids Consignment Sales
  Cate writes: I had an idea about "recycling" clothes through kids consignment sales. They seem to be popping up all over and they are a great way to make a little extra cash as well as get some great deals. Kids Consignment Sales is kind of a national database of lots of different sales and when they are taking place.
  

• ThriftSmart
  Michelle writes: I love that I can get extremely inexpensive children's clothes (sometimes as low as $0.99) and this company supports local charities. I know the people at the store and frequently visit to check out the sale of the week. They offer 20% off to people who sign up with them. I love this place!
  

Now there are a few splurges I've gone for. One of them is a brand called BabyLegs. They make leg warmers for babies and kids (and kids at heart). They have a complete organic cotton line, and they have a wide variety of styles for $12 each. These leg warmers keep my little girl's legs warm and padded while she crawls everywhere, and it makes it easy for me to change her diaper without wrestling pants or tights off of her.

I've heard of all kinds of stories of parents who have creative uses for these from just extra warmth under outfits, to cool armbands for the layered look, to keeping a baby's legs warm when they had a cast on their hipbones that prevented them from wearing pants. Additionally, a few of these suckers and you've got three different outfits even with the same top!

I'm all about practicality and comfort. If it's itchy to me, it doesn't go on my baby, no matter how earth-friendly the wool is. There are many options out there. Go for things that feel soft, and layer, layer, layer. You get twice as much wear out of an outfit when you layer a short-sleeved shirt over a long-sleeved one, or a long-sleeved shirt under a sun dress.

And back to that weather. As it cools down and the craziness of the Holidays approaches (if it isn't crazy enough right after Thanksgiving), remember to take a deep breath and get outside: breathe in that cool air, and take a moment to pick up leaves and play with your kids. I bundle mine up in my Moby Wrap (yet another brilliant invention, and a way for keep her warm outside) and walk up and down our one-mile lane. Bundle up; be cozy. Save some cash and play!

Holidays are upon us

Three family-eco-friendly holiday art activities that take little time to do.

"Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat…" Oh, sorry! The hustle and bustle of the holiday season is well upon us! Try something new this year for holiday gifts. These ideas will save money, time at those crazy stores, and brain power required to think of creative ideas for gifts! Also, most importantly, it gives your kids a chance to do some crafts that will be given to family and friends that do not put as much pressure on the Earth.

Coaster Doodles

You will need:
- Some kids' artwork
- Con-Tact paper (clear)
- Scissors

1. Ask your kids to draw or paint some pictures of animals, faces, flowers, scribbles (in my little girl’s case), or write out something sweet like “I love Grandma! Love, Madison.” Make it so it will fit under a glass.
   
2. Cover the design on both sides with clear Con-Tact paper and cut around the edge so that there is a plastic margin to keep fluids off the table.
   

Another tip: use pictures from the school year. I know my little one has brought home so many already!

Interactive Gift Tags

You will need: - White crayon
- The blank envelopes you have been collecting
- 3" punch or scissors
- Standard hole-punch
- Colored Markers
- Ribbon

1. Pull the envelopes apart at the seams
   
2. Punch the hole with your large punch, or cut a unique design with a pair of scissors
   
3. Punch a small hole in the top of the tag (to run ribbon through)
   
4. Write in white crayon who the gift is TO and FROM on the shaped tags you have
   
5. When it is time to open presents, let the kids take turns running a colored marker over the tags to see who the gift is TO and FROM
   
6. Any envelopes you have left over, allow your kids to use them as coloring paper (instead of purchasing paper), then recycle whatever is unused!
   

Table Décor

You will need:
- Old Plastic Juice Bottles
- Colored Felt
- Scissors
- Ribbon
- Glue
- Colored Construction Paper
- Old Magazines

1. Clean the old juice containers well and put the lid back on.
2. Cut a piece of felt that is large enough to cover the juice bottle
3. Let your kids decorate the felt with construction paper, other colors of felt or holiday pictures from old magazines
4. Glue on their creations
5. Allow to sit until glue is dry
6. Wrap the felt design around the juice bottle and tie with ribbon around the neck of the bottle
7. Display proudly on the table through the holiday season

E-F-G

Change the way you give this holiday season.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G… I have heard that song so many times these days that when I was thinking of a title for this All in a Day, Eco-Friendly Gifts, it came to mind.

Most of my life, I took gift giving very seriously and was overly obsessive about it because it was going to get some sort of response from someone else: if they loved it, I was amazing; if they hated it, I did not do a good job at knowing them; if it was too cheap, they would know and feel insulted; if it was too expensive, I would not be able to buy other gifts! It was such a mind-game for me. A few years ago, I decided to simplify giving gifts and this year I have learned some new ideas as well!

A few years ago, I bought small tea-light candles (enough for each member of my family and friends). I then found a really wonderful song that made reference to a candle (a poem would work; something that expresses your feelings for whichever holiday you are celebrating). You could even have you little one help you write a poem or story. I then printed it on colored card stock (you could print it on recycled paper in columns and cut the pieces into equal part) and placed it in a small bag with the candle. You could try something more like a pouch or a little more authentic. Reuse gift bags from previous celebrations and you’ve got something free.

This was the gift. I wrote individual notes on each card. It was so simple, and people loved them! Depending on the number of people you have to buy for and your choice in bag, the total cost per gift could be anywhere from $1.34 to $6.90 per person. That is pretty amazing.

Instead of buying your kids something that is the latest-and-greatest, that everyone is talking about, look for something that will challenge them and inspire their growth as people! Give back to the community; support a cause your entire family feels passionate about; look to be different in this holiday season!

• OPT OUT
  

Make a firm resolve to Opt Out of the national trend to buy-buy-buy this holiday season. Make this season about time together with people you care about, giving back to your community or other people in need, and letting go of the trivial parts this season can so often make seem so important.

Instead of buying your kids 5-10 gifts this year (that may never be played with more than 2 times), get each child one gift and use the money to give the other 4-9 to a few needy families in your community. I know that no matter where I am financially, I usually give things to my little girl throughout the year. I want her to learn that the giving holidays are not just about her, but they are about giving back to others.

For the gifts you do decide to buy for your family, try using some of these tips to keep you on track!

• BE PREPARED
  

Go into gift-buying prepared. Do your best to reduce the blow on the environment while shopping! Use public transportation, walk or bike to the shops. Bring your reusable bags you have for your groceries to keep up with those gifts! Have an idea of what you want before you set out and set limits for yourself (price, make, and model).

I make a list of the people I need to buy for, give a very low limit and try to know what I want prior to getting into a store. Make sure the gift will be used, otherwise it is a waste. Although it may seem so neat at the store, think about what will happen to it when you give it. Will it end up in the toy chest (or huge plastic container, in my case) and never see the light of day again? Will you be cleaning it out in less than 6 months? Will it fall apart in a month or if it gets wet? Is it washable?

Buy sustainable goods that are meant to last. Try second-hand stores and put a personal touch on it with new paint or other artsy fun! Remember, this is something small; your larger gifts will be going to charities, community service or not-for-profits you support!

• BUY EDUCATIONAL GIFTS
  

These gifts offer some developmental aid beside just all-round fun; eBeanstock offers Gift Series by age in all ranges. I love this idea!

• FAIR-TRADE, ORGANIC, GREEN GIFTS
  

Although they may cost a little more, you know your kids will be safe, the people who participated in making the gift are being paid and the environment was not harmed in processing! Try buying gifts locally to help support our communities. Gifts made or grown locally tell stories about the place you live and less gas will be used in shipping costs! If it’s a T-shirt, go for eco-cotton with natural dyes.

• SHARE A PIECE OF YOURSELF
  

Gift Time Together!

Reuse any of those envelopes you may have left over and make a coupon book for your kids – write out things they like and decorate the sheets, staple them together and your gift is complete: a trip to the zoo, the art museum, national park visits, foot rubs, or art sessions. Create a gift like a scarf or a sweater (if you are the knitting type). You could also try what I did above.

Creativity is something we all have. Start a tradition for your family.

• GIFT COMMUNITY SERVICE
  

Bring smiles to your child’s face with they receive a letter from a child in another part of the world sharing how their gift has helped them. At the same time, it reinforces that it is not all about getting things, but giving back is a gift in itself!

Kept a Better, Longer, Never-Ending Calendar

Make notes each day about milestones for your kids in your calendar and you will have them for years and years to come.

I have a "Baby's First Year" calendar for the first year of each of my three children. Each calendar is filled with stickers noting each milestone in that first year. I know when each one smiled for the first time, slept all night (probably the only night for the next several years), and sat alone. Thank goodness the calendars came with stickers - it certainly made it easier to document each of these historic events.

But if I'd known how quickly time passes, I would have kept a longer calendar. Certainly the first year is important in a child's (and mom's) life. But what about the years after? I should have kept a longer calendar.

With my first child, I had a little spare time (OK, so maybe only in retrospect). But at least I only had one child to watch. With the succeeding births of two more children, my ""free time" became nonexistent. I managed to keep up with those first-year calendars (thanks to the pre-made stickers), but I should have kept going.

I could have gotten some type of daily calendar. I certainly didn't have time to sit and write some narrative of the day, but I could have jotted notes about the day. "Sam/finger/wall outlet" (I caught him just in time). "Maribeth/ladder/roof" (up and down without breaking a bone). Molly/lost glasses (which evaporated into thin air). At least I could have noted when and where.

As parents, we spend so much of our time physically caring for our children. We change smelly diapers, wash dirty little clothes and bodies, teach life's lessons and discipline life's mistakes, rock to sleep and prod to awake, kiss away boo-boos and hug away fears, and a myriad of other things to rear our children every moment of each day. During those days, a million memories happen that we're certain we'll never forget but somehow, in the rush of the day which turns into weeks, months, and years, sometimes those precious memories get filed in forgotten recesses of our brains. I would have kept a calendar if I'd known how many experiences I'd fail to remember.

In her later years, my grandmother kept a "Day at a Glance" by her bedside. Each day she would write down the weather, and just a few notes about what happened that day. I have those calendars now, and enjoy looking at the events she recorded. I should have done the same for my children, so they would have a record of their first dates, the day they rode a bicycle by themselves, and the day they first got a cell phone. Well, maybe not so much for them, but for me. There's no better story than the story of my children, especially one that could have been written by me.

About the Author:

Luanne Davidson is the proud mother of three adult children and wonders what might have been if she had done a thing or two differently. She writes her "Coulda, Woudla, Shoulda" column each Thursday.

Responsibility: Not Saying the Same Old Thing

How can we teach our children how to be more responsible without nagging?

“Clean your room.”

“Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.”

“Brush your teeth before bed.”

I got tired of hearing the same old thing come out of my mouth, so I decided I wasn’t going to do it anymore. Instead, I created chore charts. Now it’s the kids’ job to check their charts and do their chores. If they do, they get points. A penny a point is their weekly allowance. If they don’t, then it takes a lot longer for them to save up for that toy they want. Now I’m not nagging, and they’re learning responsibility.

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